Please share the love

I would love to share something....
I think it's very important for all of us to make sure we spread the love and support each other!!
There is no reason we need to put each other down.... We need to learn to help each other and reach out when we see somebody in need
I hope you enjoy
Alicia

Favorite home meal

Healthy Pizza i made....
Whats your fav meal to make at home?

Loving my NSV'S

Let me start by saying Today was an amazing day!!! I had a great time...
I was a little tired because i had been in the ER the day before... but i had promised i was going to go to the zoo with my family and thats exactly what i did....
I really needed an outing anyway after everything that has been going on in my life all the dissapointments and people bringing me down, I needed this.
I have to say i was a little nervous because i havent been to the zoo in years. I was afraid to walk around. I did great though...i ended walking 4000 steps.. Part of the way i did have to use a wheelchair because it was so much walking but that was ok...
I didn't have anxiety attacks which i was afraid of...It was great seeing the animals.. just being out there enjoying the day...
Another thing that happened is that for the first time in god knows how long i actually sat in the back seat with my son and chris... What an amazing feeling that was...
It's like everyday life is getting more normal for me and that feels fantastik!!
I forgot how fun and amazing life could be and sometimes its the little things that you miss and those are the things people take for granted but i am enjoying all the ups not so much the downs but i guess that is part of life.... Being hurt by some and being accepting by others.... I have learned that when things go bad or people treat you awful its not because of you but because of their issues....

I AM ENOUGH

I sometimes sit here and wonder am i really good enough... The Answer is YES!!
So lets back up... As i have talked in a previous post it is hard to look at myself and tell myself i am good enough mainly because my whole life i was always taught that i was never good enough, Never Pretty enough, Never enough to have friends....I was always told i was smart but that was it!! I had so many dreams and aspirations!!!
But that meant nothing.... All i wanted is to always be accepted....
So i find myself now as a grown woman who is an amazing person and beautiful who still has lots of dreams and aspirations who still wants to be accepted...
Don't get me wrong i know we cannot be liked by everyone and accepted by everyone but i guess what once hurts once again is that i am made to be this horrible person (which i am not)...
I decided i will not allow others to make me feel less of a person than what i am... I will not allow others to use me!! I will not allow others to shatter what i have worked so hard to become....
I am starting to realize that there are people who enjoy putting others down, who enjoy making fun of others , who treat people like a piece of shit!!! 
Just to make themselves feel better because THEY ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!
They cannot love themselves and those around them.... It's time i stop worrying about others and remember how sad their lives are that they cannot even love themselves...
I will succeed and conquer because I AM GOOD ENOUGH!!!Here is something i will Look at daily and remember... I hope this helps other to remember YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH!!! Please don't ever let anyone ever tell you otherwise!!! <3

I Am Enough

Today, I am enough.

I am smart enough.

Wise enough.

Clever enough.

Resourceful enough.

Able enough.

Confident enough.

I am connected to enough people to accomplish my heart’s desire.

I have enough ideas to pull off magic and miracles.

Enough is all I need.

Enough is what I have.

I have more than enough.

As I do all that I can do, I’m able to do more and more.

I am excited to be alive. I rejoice and re-choice every day to make my life better.

I am happy, healthy, prosperous, successful, rich, loving, loved and beloved.

I am comfortable with myself, so I am comfortable with all others.

I confidently greet each day with a smile on my face and love in my heart.

Everyone who meets me is warmed by the radiance of my attitude.

I work on my attitude continuously. I read positive, inspiring and uplifting books.

I associate with friendly, caring, Nurturing people who are involved doing important things.

The People with whom I associate want more for me than I want for myself.

The projects with which I am involved WOW my soul.

I am passionately on-purpose to do good, be good and help others do the same.

I am enough. I have enough. I do enough.

Thank you for being here understanding and supporting me.... It means alot!!! 

COCOTEIN REVIEW

I bought Cocotein from gnc and wanted to give it a try... here is my review about it and here are the nutrition facts

Nutrition Facts
Serving Size 1 bottle
Servings Per Container 12
Amount Per Serving		% DV
Calories from Fat	0.00
Sodium	85.00 mg	4%
Potassium	250.00 mg	7%
Total Carbohydrate	5.00 g	2%
Protein	20.00 g	40%
Calories	100.00
Sugars	5.00 g
Total Fat	0.00 g	0%
Vitamin A	0.00	0%
Vitamin C	0.00	2%
Calcium	0.00	0%
Iron	0.00	0%
Phosphorus	0.00	40%
Magnesium	0.00	4%

** Daily Value (DV) not established
† Percent Daily Values are based on a 2000 calorie diet. Your daily values may be higher or lower depending on your calorie needs:
	Calories:	2000	2500
Total Fat	Less than	65 g	80 g
Sat. Fat	Less than	20 g	25 g
Cholesterol	Less than	300 mg	300 mg
Sodium	Less than	2400 mg	2400 mg
Total Carbohydrate		300 g	375 g
Dietary Fiber		25 g	30 g
Calories per gram:
Fat 9 • Carbohydrate 4 • Protein 4

Other Ingredients: Filtered Water, whey (milk) protein isolate, Coconut (Tree Nut) Water Concentrate, Natural Flavor, Phosphoric Acid, Sucralose

STOP JUDGING AND SHAMING EACH OTHER!!!!

I was reading a blog from imperfect life and came across this. I thought it was so true so I wanted to share. Will you take the pledge??

No one should care about what you’re eating, why you’re eating it or how much you’re eating. It’s none of their business! And what they are eating is none of your business either, so stop judging, too!
Although we may think that our shame helps us make good choices or that our judgement helps others make better choices, the complete opposite couldn’t be more true.
When we feel ashamed about what we’re eating typically one of two things happens- 1) we eat in hiding so no one can judge us 2) we rebel and eat MORE to prove to ourselves and others that we “do what we want”.  Both of these have the exact opposite affect on what we’re trying to accomplish which is to make good, healthy choices even when those choices involve extra calories.

Let’s empower each other!  

Let’s stop judging!  

Let’s STOP EATING WITH SHAME!

Let’s eat nachos with our friends without discussing how “bad they are for us” or making excuses for wanting them!  

Let’s let go of the guilt and shame that we associate with food and just enjoy living happy, healthy lives!

Are you with me?  Are you ready to put an end to this madness?  Sign your name in the comments section below and then share this post with your friends. Let them know that you will NOT feel guilty, make excuses or try to justify eating whatever you damned well please and that they should do the same!
TAKE THE PLEDGE!

I (Alicia Contreras) Will

1) Eat a well balanced diet of whole foods- mostly protein, lots of veggies and some good healthy fats MOST of the time

2) Enjoy other stuff some of the time

3) Stop apologizing and making excuses for what I eat

4) Avoid talking about, thinking about, worrying about and obsessing about whether or not what I’m eating needs to be justified by myself or others

5) Quit questioning, scrutinizing or judging other’s food choices and instead lead by example because I’m rocking number one of this pledge

6) Encourage my friends and family to do the same

7) If someone tries to engage me in conversation that questions my food choices, I will tell them about this pledge.

http://imperfectlife.net/noshame/

I want to give credit to imperfect life checkout her blog. I took the pledge will you??

Today was a BEAUTIFUL day!!

So Today started like any other day... 
I woke up made sure i took my morning vitamins and then had my breakfast which was a Chobani yogurt and even though it was a little more calories and sugar than i normally pick it was delish and a treat for me...

So anyway i got dressed to go out and realized wow i have so many more clothes than i have ever had in my life and not just clothes that didn't fit me.... Clothes that fit and i look GOOD in... so anyway i went out returned some movies and went to the store to get me some sandwhich thins because i have been wanting a sandwich. So today was a good eating day...
It's funny how you never realize or take for granted being able to walk, and be happy until those things are gone...
Today i did just that i AM Happy today and it feels good to walk and move and enjoy my days what life has in store for me. To be able to plan things like this weekend i am going to a friends house to have a BBQ... Someone i met from the wls community who is just amazing!! So i am looking forward to that!! It's funny how life works out and when you once thought about ending it all and just not wanting to live because the whole world wouldn't care to having true friends people who love and adore you and remind you that you are an inspiration and your doing amazing on this journey. Life can change in the blink of an eye... 
Sometimes when people are in your life they are only in it for a short while because there are bigger and better things waiting for you... I have to remember i am human i have feelings and emotions and i bleed and have pain like everyone else and most important I DO MATTER... Maybe not to everyone but to the ones who matter...I will continue to fight for my life and continue to find inspiration in these amazing people i call my friends...  It's just nice for once in your life to have someone call you and talk to you not because they want anything from you but because you truly matter in their life...
I am looking forward to spreading my wings and flying and nobody can hold me back but me and i know i can do anything i put my mind to because i got it like that!!! 
I'm not perfect but i'm also not a piece of shit like i have been told my whole life!! so if your one of those people who always reminded me i was nothing, WATCH OUT...

Cause I'm PROVING you WRONG!!!!

New life

So here it is one year later after my second chance at life. My life changed on 

6/5/2013. Thanks to an amazing surgeon 

Dr Deveny

What an adventure I have been on, full of ups and downs. Happiness and disappointments, laughter and crying. Full of can'ts and omg I freakin did it!!!! Full of amazing NSV'S and new friendships. 

Looking back I have learned so much but most if all I have learned that I matter, I'm worth it and I'm beautiful. I HAVE A PURPOSE IN THIS WORLD. I truly believe I am here to help others while helping myself. 

I think sometimes things happen that you don't foresee and as hard as it is especially on me I think maybe these obstacles and experiences are out in your path for a reason!!! Nothing is forever and everything is a life experience and what I have been through this last year I say has been a life lesson and has only made me a better person

If you would have asked me a year ago where I would be today I wouldn't have an answer for that. I never thought I would be 164 pounds down, I would never be able to look in the mirror and say your beautiful, I would never be able to motivate and inspire others. 

Having surgery is the best thing I ever did for me. I was quickly killing myself at 560 pounds and now I'm living one day at a time.  Going through good days and bad but I will tell u what at the end of the day I love the beautiful amazing person I am and no one or nothing could ever change how much I love myself and how proud of ME I am. 

Please don't forget if you don't love yourself you can't expect anyone else to love you ❤️

Also be nice to each other because you don't know the things you do or the words you say will impact someone else. 

Love yourself everyday. 

1 year difference!!

Ms Beautifulalicia

HW 560

SW 512

CW 396

I HATE YOU FOOD

It's been a hard couple days. I don't know why I keep to myself why I can't reach out when I need someone when I need help!!

Last night I watched extreme makeover weightloss and it encouraged me. I watched and thought I want to do something I enjoy something that's fun!! I want to dance. Even though I am not coordinated at all and I'm still so big I want to dance or Zumba or something. 

Then I think once again the scared feeling comes over me!! I think I wanna do this but can't!!!

What if I fail? 

It seems like when I'm doing so good there is something that gets in my way. Usually it's my head telling me you have been doing good so go ahead and slack off it's ok if u eat what you want. But I know it's not. So the question I keep asking myself over and over is why do I keep sabotaging myself. Why do I convince myself it's ok. Why is it so hard to ask for help to get me through these hard times. I guess it goes back to being judged. 

I had gastric bypass so I should eat perfect right.  It should be easy right. Well it's not. I'm do scared of failure. Not only failure after gastric bypass but failure in life. I know I have to get back on track. I know there's people out here to help but I'm scared I should know. 

I just do t wanna be that girl again who is physically unable to do anything. I just wanna believe myself. I'm tired of food being in control!!!

I hate u food!!!!

Why do u always tempt me and make me feel like such a failure. 

Will I ever learn to take back my life and for me to be in control and not that dam food!!! 

Please let me be in control of me today. I guess I will have to take it one day at a time and hope I have the strength to fight!!! 

Fight another day!!!!

3 YEARS AGO

I sometimes look back at my life and the things that have happen...
This blog will be past and present i may be all over the place but i think its very important because things sometimes come up that you say oh ya i Remember when.......

So Looking back 3 years ago i remember being in a really lonely dark place...
I had no one except my very loving son and boyfriend but even at times i never really let them in... But i do remember wishing and praying that god would take this pain away.
I had so much mental and even more physical pain... Now u have to understand being 5'4" and weighing over 500 pounds is torture and hell... but i will talk about that another time...

I remember 3 years ago on facebook hoping to find some friends.. not quite sure how i ended up in a weightloss challenge group but i did...
We were put into groups of 3 and i ended up with a guy and a girl named jennifer and let me say there was a instant connection! 
She became my best friend almost instantly. She understood me and would talk to me and for the first time in my life there was someone who accepted me for me. She made me feel like i mattered and i think for the first time i was truly happy having such an amazing friend.
I remembering being happy and smiling and i was so afraid i would somehow screw this up too like i have so many other things in my life!! But guess what almost 3 years later and she is still my best friend and more than that she is like my sister i never had... She accepts me for who i am didn't judge me for being that 560 pound sad girl and she still doesnt judge me at 397 pounds... 
I'm not sure if she knows how much of an impact she has had on my life .... she is the angel that came into my life and helped me understand that i was worth living and breathing and she wasnt gonna let me fall... but if i did she would help me up as we both laughed cause THAT SHIT WAS FUNNY!!!!
She has been my protector in a weird way... and i love her so much cause she never gave up on me when i wanted to so many times!! i know if i gave up she would punch me in the face!!! hahahaha she knows what i'm talking about...
I don't know if she will ever read this but if she does i just wanna say sis thank you for being such a important part of me realizing that i have so much to live for and that I AM WORTH IT!!! I thank you and your family for being there, even though we are literally across the country from each other u have never failed me and have always been there for me and for that i am truly grateful!! I just hope i have done for u half of what you have done for me...

Now understand there have been many in the last couple years who have helped me... but back when all i wanted to do is end it jen came into my life... and i could never ever repay her for her love and kindness!! I love you sis

WHO IS THIS GIRL

Who is this Girl?
Well my born name was Alicia, but about 2 years ago i decided it was time to put beautiful in from of that name. Why u ask because at that time i was feeling so low didn't think my life was worth anything and all i wanted to do is to feel beautiful....
So did that help?
Well i like to think so. slowly i truly believe it did it helped me see life through a new set of eyes. It helped me realize not everyone needs to be that perfect barbie doll that everyone hopes and wishes for...
WOW you say adding one word made that much of a difference and my answer is YES!!!
It did for me I have lived my whole life for everyone else.... What everyone else thought was beautiful that is what i was trying to be and while i was trying to be that i was killing myself with FOOD!!!
Ever since i was a little girl i was abused in one way or another and i learned from a early age NOBODY wanted me!!! 
When your a child to a teenager all you want is to be wanted and have friends.... Well i had one true friend (so i thought) and my BEST FRIEND
was FOOD!!! 
Never turned me away, never called me names, was always there when i needed someone....
BUT Now at the age of 40 am Learning MY friend for all these years wasn't my friend it was in a weird way my abuser!! I allowed it and now i am paying for all the years i allowed myself to be hurt by it!! After 40 years i realize i do matter and so i am learning to live a life From 
SUPER MORBID OBESITY (cause that's exactly what i was) to finding my NORMAL!!! If there is such thing as normal.... 
So i hope you will come along on this journey of finding who i really am and helping me answer the real question DO I MATTER AND DO I DESERVE TO CALL MYSELF MS BEAUTIFULALICIA???