This blog will be past and present i may be all over the place but i think its very important because things sometimes come up that you say oh ya i Remember when.......
So Looking back 3 years ago i remember being in a really lonely dark place...
I had no one except my very loving son and boyfriend but even at times i never really let them in... But i do remember wishing and praying that god would take this pain away.
I had so much mental and even more physical pain... Now u have to understand being 5'4" and weighing over 500 pounds is torture and hell... but i will talk about that another time...
I remember 3 years ago on facebook hoping to find some friends.. not quite sure how i ended up in a weightloss challenge group but i did...
We were put into groups of 3 and i ended up with a guy and a girl named jennifer and let me say there was a instant connection!
She became my best friend almost instantly. She understood me and would talk to me and for the first time in my life there was someone who accepted me for me. She made me feel like i mattered and i think for the first time i was truly happy having such an amazing friend.
I remembering being happy and smiling and i was so afraid i would somehow screw this up too like i have so many other things in my life!! But guess what almost 3 years later and she is still my best friend and more than that she is like my sister i never had... She accepts me for who i am didn't judge me for being that 560 pound sad girl and she still doesnt judge me at 397 pounds...
I'm not sure if she knows how much of an impact she has had on my life .... she is the angel that came into my life and helped me understand that i was worth living and breathing and she wasnt gonna let me fall... but if i did she would help me up as we both laughed cause THAT SHIT WAS FUNNY!!!!
She has been my protector in a weird way... and i love her so much cause she never gave up on me when i wanted to so many times!! i know if i gave up she would punch me in the face!!! hahahaha she knows what i'm talking about...
I don't know if she will ever read this but if she does i just wanna say sis thank you for being such a important part of me realizing that i have so much to live for and that I AM WORTH IT!!! I thank you and your family for being there, even though we are literally across the country from each other u have never failed me and have always been there for me and for that i am truly grateful!! I just hope i have done for u half of what you have done for me...
Now understand there have been many in the last couple years who have helped me... but back when all i wanted to do is end it jen came into my life... and i could never ever repay her for her love and kindness!! I love you sis
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