Doodletopia: Cartoons

Love this book teaches me basics on drawing which is a passion of mine 

WHO AM I

I am 41 years old and have been on a weightloss journey well most of my life… I have always been overweight my whole life …Or as long as i can remember…. My highest weight was 560 pounds. I was actually over 500 pounds for over 10 years… About 6 years ago i decided it was time for a change i couldn’t do this anymore… I was done.. i went to my dr and begged for help there was never anything my dr’s ever did to help me my whole life… I tried everything exercise, diets,starving , crying,even wanting to die… I COULDN’T handle it anymore Then i finally started the journey to try to get Weightloss surgery…. I never thought i could do it…. But i was so afraid i would die so what did i have to lose… I fought for 3 years trying to get help trying to get surgery trying to get a surgeon to do my surgery to do it for me… I didn’t care what surgery i just wanted to live…. FINALLY it did happen after fighting for years….On june 5, 2013 I finally had the RNY Gastric Bypass… Best decision of my life…I still to this day thank the surgeon who did my surgery he saved my life… He allowed me to spend more years with my family and to experience things i never thought were possible… So today here i sit at 390 pounds Frustrated again but i am not 560 pounds so for that i’m grateful… i will continue to fight and believe in myself even if nobody believes in me…. I was given a second chance and i’m truly blessed that i have gotten that… So i will continue to share my story and chip away at the pain that got me to 560 pounds i will continue to live life and hopefully help others on my way there….

When the turkey stuffing kicks in remix

fiber gourmet giveaway

Thanksgiving tag

Never look back

Friday morning coffee and rambling

Q&A book review

Q&A journal is awesome I actually love how it's a journal but to draw in. 

The fact that there are spaces to draw for 4 years worth. That is so cool. 

If you love to doodle or draw express yourself this def is for you 

Love how it asks questions everyday so it gives you something to draw. 

Thank you blogging for books. 

Instant happy journal

I received this book to review and I love it. Love that it's a 365 day journal. 

I have really enjoyed journaling lately that this couldn't come at a perfect time thank you blogging for books 

When does it get better

Hello everyone today is Sunday and I am having a really rough day. 

I am struggling with depression again and I believe it all stems from my addiction to food. I wish I didn't think about food all day everyday. 

I'm so tired of feeling like a failure. I know I know I have done great, amazing wonderful but it's not enough I wish I could sit here and say it is enough but I would be lying. 

I think it's been hard I see others around me doing so amazing and I'm so proud of them. Then here I am with this fake smile saying everything is wonderful and great.  He'll who am I kidding food is my life it takes over everything. At time my life sucks. I feel trapped, I didn't sign up for this I keep fighting and losing!!!!

Whyyyyy why me why cant I get it. 

Maybe I'm destined to never get it, never be "NORMAL" 

Maybe that's not in my cards. I feel alone no friends live close who call me and say lets go out. 

All I'm good at is sitting here crying, I think why do I have to be so weak. I just wanna live not just exist!!! Really live. So I guess I have to figure out

Maybe 370 is the best I can do. Should I be content. I don't know I just don't wanna struggle anymore. Is that even possible???

Genepro and Thank you Tricia for my prize

Me 28 months ago after Gastric Bypass Surgery

Don't judge. LoL. On my evening walk

Posted by Alicia Contreras on Friday, June 14, 2013

TIME TO SAY GOODBYE

Nature Box Review with Christi

Struggling with life

Hey everyone how's it going things aren't going too well for me I am having a lot of struggles right now. not only am I in pain because of my neck and back but I'm also having a lot of struggles with food and I just can't say no. My addiction with food is probably one of the worst that I've had in a long long time and no matter what I do I just can't control it it frustrates me. I thought that maybe the problem was was that my stomach for some reason was not doing good maybe stretched out just because I don't feel full and I'm constantly hungry. I now know that my stomach is the size it supposed to be I've seen my surgeon and the test that they have given me have shown that my stomach is the size it's supposed to be about the size of an egg so that isn't the problem. The problem is stress and I feel I'm trying to fill a void I'm not sure why but ever since having my thigh surgery and having to go back into the hospital because of cellulitis that I've had to be basically in bed with my legs elevated and cause and all the pain that I've had I've just been eating so much more I don't want to move,I don't want to exercise,I just want to eat and lay here and sleep partly because I'm in so much pain all the time that it's overwhelming and I just continue to feel like what the hell is wrong with me I just don't feel like I can do this anymore I feel ashamed of myself I feel like reaching out to people is just too hard I don't know what the answer is for me but I don't even know what questions to ask I have made an appointment to go in this week for an intake appointment for therapy but every day I continue to say today I'm going to control my eating today I'm going to exercise today I'm going to drink all my water and not drink soda or sugary drinks today's going to be different but it never is never does and I'm just on the verge of giving up like giving up on everything and I'm tired of feeling this way about myself I'm just so stuck and it frustrates me because I feel like I know that this weight-loss surgery helps save my life but being two years out now I know that I have to mentally deal with my addiction and I don't know how to do that I don't know how to ask for help and I don't know how to not feel like a failure I just try to be so positive with myself and tell myself I can do this it's going to be OK but it never is. All I do is lay here and feel sorry for myself but the thing is I can't seem to get the energy to do anything I just keep asking myself what's wrong with me what's wrong with you I don't want to die but that's how I feel like I am heading I feel like I'm heading back downhill and I don't like it sorry for the long post I just needed to really really vent