Well my born name was Alicia, but about 2 years ago i decided it was time to put beautiful in from of that name. Why u ask because at that time i was feeling so low didn't think my life was worth anything and all i wanted to do is to feel beautiful....
So did that help?
Well i like to think so. slowly i truly believe it did it helped me see life through a new set of eyes. It helped me realize not everyone needs to be that perfect barbie doll that everyone hopes and wishes for...
WOW you say adding one word made that much of a difference and my answer is YES!!!
It did for me I have lived my whole life for everyone else.... What everyone else thought was beautiful that is what i was trying to be and while i was trying to be that i was killing myself with FOOD!!!
Ever since i was a little girl i was abused in one way or another and i learned from a early age NOBODY wanted me!!!
When your a child to a teenager all you want is to be wanted and have friends.... Well i had one true friend (so i thought) and my BEST FRIEND
was FOOD!!!
Never turned me away, never called me names, was always there when i needed someone....
BUT Now at the age of 40 am Learning MY friend for all these years wasn't my friend it was in a weird way my abuser!! I allowed it and now i am paying for all the years i allowed myself to be hurt by it!! After 40 years i realize i do matter and so i am learning to live a life From
SUPER MORBID OBESITY (cause that's exactly what i was) to finding my NORMAL!!! If there is such thing as normal....
So i hope you will come along on this journey of finding who i really am and helping me answer the real question DO I MATTER AND DO I DESERVE TO CALL MYSELF MS BEAUTIFULALICIA???
you are a badass and a beautiful person.
ReplyDeleteawwwww thank you so much!! that means so much <3
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